Service and Reciprocation
The word "service" means "an act of devotion" like Sunday Church Service,
Service also means "slavery" at it's Latin roots. Community service, if required by law, can be a form of unpaid labour.
Volunteerism, on the other side of the coin, is applauded and comes with added benefits some of the time.
Does it mean that you are not supposed to get anything back? Or just not expect anything in return?
Relationships have to be reciprocal to be sustainable. We are actually doing a disservice to others when we are acting from a place of selflessness, that martyrdom has a cost, if only that others cannot enjoy giving in return.
You can't be self-serving all the time and expect others to be devoted to you too, at least not forever. Not as a mode of being or way of life. If you do, you'll burn a lot of bridges and flip a lot of relationships for the next one.
So how do we provide service in a healthy, holistic way that serves ourselves and our greater community, while maintaining respect and dignity for and from ourselves and others?
Reflect on your preconceived notions of service: is service always necessarily selfless?
How and when are we self-serving in our lives?
How do we react to others who are moving from a self-serving place?
Religion
Religion means 'to be bound to'. so service can become your personal religion. What is it that you worship enough to put your energy into it?
For most of us, sadly, it's money - or what money represents - a roof, food, clean water, electricity, sometimes other luxuries. Beyond that, what are your values and priorities, and are you willing to sacrifice the illusions of "freedom" in order to uphold and pursue those virtues?
I mean here, the freedom to beg forgiveness later instead of following your conscience by honouring what's right in the moment.
Some of us are bound to addictions. We are behaving only in service to our vices, then. That religion is one of worship and service to our personal demons if we walk the path. Alternately, it is my hope that we can worship what is called Source or Creator, or Love, or Truth, or Beauty or the Earth or Justice or Hospitality, anything that calls to us from a place of wholesomeness or holiness, and we can serve that calling.
So what do you believe in? If you look at the root of the word "belief", it means the same as beloved, something you love.
How do Religion and Worship fit into the picture of service for you?
What is your connection to the divine? How do you practice that?
Piety - what is it? According to Socrates, a virtue that fulfills a duty.
How do Belief and Piety fit into the picture of service in your experience?
What do you love, and how are you fulfilling your duty to that?
Sacred Contracts
These can be described as oaths or promises sworn to others that are binding agreements - sometimes geas put on us (blessings or curses that become obligations or destiny)
Patronage
What is a patron? a mentor who grants you commissions to do what you do best. Who supports your art? your craft? your passion? your vocation?
Is service always a binding agreement, or can it be casual?
Food service
When we serve food and drink to guests, what are we doing if not making offerings? Are guests then our masters, or just honoured and treasured company? If we work in the food service industry, does that change things? Could clients be our masters? And do we worship our friends and family, or do we think the way the ancients did, that hospitality is important because a goddess or god might knock on your door in disguise?
Are there other mundane ways to serve, where we overlook the spirituality?
Masters and self-mastery.
Taking a guru or studying the tradition of a teacher, often sits opposite to taking the path of self-knowledge and self-discipline. Some of us need to be held accountable and receive praise and guidance often. Others work best in solitary study and practice, choosing to experiment with content and tools, and push their own boundaries to their limits. If we learn from someone else, great. But are we being self-serving or serving the wrong being by choosing a human patron?
Is there a service component to choosing a guru or spiritual master? Is it self-serving to walk a path of self-knowledge and self-discipline?
Can we find ways to be of service in a healthy, balanced way?
To serve and protect
The folks who care for us through our governments tend to rule by force, to keep order. How does that make them bound to us in service?
They put themselves in harm's way to fight for what is lawful. Often this is to our benefit as ordinary citizens, if there is a threat. Can we also take on various representative and authoritarian roles in our own acts of service? Can we be activists and ambassadors of our own vocations, or does service always mean you have to obey certain people, organizations, or constraints that you have no control over? Can we be benevolent leaders? I think we can.
To clarify: Can anyone truly be of service if they are above the law? As the head of a household, or as the Creator of the universe, are there ways in which those powers are serving also those who seek to serve them?
Does service also include leadership, and what sacrifices do leaders make in order to serve?
Does someone's authority mean that others must serve them for the greater goal, or can service be mutual?
If we want to be in service to our world, or our communities, or even ourselves, is this good or bad? Does it necessarily mean we give up our freedom in pursuit of a goal directed at someone else's benefit? Or can we add value while still maintaining other interests and endeavors? What are we investing in, as unique people?
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My path at the moment is one of exploring "true will". It stems in part from the inner child work I'm doing, addressing my childhood traumas around the consequences of being passive, shy, and compliant in my search for others' approval and attention. So which 'boss' or 'game' are you submitting to, if you are avoiding your spiritual calling? Or when you are not being assertive if someone gives you the "my way or the highway" vibe? Expressing desire can make people feel vulnerable, and exposed. How can we comfort each other and create safe space for those who wish to speak of desire, hope, and dreams of the future, and hold space for them to act on it when it is appropriate and possible for us to support that?
What are you already in service to?
What are you investing in through your service?
If you have thoughts around this complex discussion and wish to explore your fears and desires around finding your agency as a human being and doing good in the world with that power, let's have a chat about how you can find meaningful, balanced, service and make it an integrated part of your lifestyle.
♥ Jacki