♥MossWhat is confession, in your mind? Is it something you feel bad about, guilt, shame, or otherwise? Is it something you actively voice? Is it regarding wrongdoing, or inaction? or both?
What is Apology? Is it an explanation? an excuse for behaviours, attitudes, words? a commitment to behave and speak differently in the future? or something else?
When I think about these things, I often regard them as pointless if they are not actually authentic. the "sorry not sorry" thing is awful at times, but in other regards, it is the best one can do sometimes, when feeling like the things that happened were okay. Sometimes people are sensitive and get hurt by events that transpire, however, it is not anyone's job to heal that wound, other than oneself. The catalyst for that healing CAN be forgiveness, and it has to be mutual in some cases where the hurt is both ways. Harm reduction in interpersonal relationships, though, means that sometimes ceasing to escalate the situation by stepping away or expressing one's "righteous indignation" at such an offensive experience and then calmly well-wishing the other... can be the best at that moment. Returning to check-in from time to time is appropriate if you did want the community or friendship circle or what have you, to be enriched by each others' presences and mutual understanding or at least, a common sense of "unconditional high regard".
In other cases, people don't deserve any sort of guilt, shame, remorse, forgiveness, or anything of the nature... and they should get extra healing. Whether victim, villain, hero, or escape artist, the people involved in these weird shaped scenarios, all need to realize there is more to life than drama.
But to keep this positive, what are the virtues and values involved in confessing or apologizing? Who need go first if there has been mutual harm or perceived wounding? Is taking initiative a good thing, or bad, and what contexts would change that, which variables?
♥ Jacki